i've got a visitor

I got a visitor, a strange creature who I for some reason found rather familiar. It was a tall faceless and pale man with lots of tentacles wearing a suit. He visited me as I was killing some more people, letting them decay as I watched the life be sucked out of it.

He approached me.

"You are an abomination, you know that right?" he said.
I'm still not sure where the voice was coming from.
"An abomination?" I asked, insulted.
"Yes, you are a human masquerading as a fear. A mortal pretending to be something they are not. You'd be as dead as that kid you're killing if it weren't for the blind man's silly experiments. Yes, we need replacements and the best way is to elevate humans. However, it's his job to wipe your memories, to give you new memories. Your soul is supposed to be a blank sheet, not for him to give humans he chooses worthy some great powers"

I was gonna say something but he cut me off by trying to grab me with his tentacles. I touched one and to my amusement it started to decay a little. I had hurt him.

He looked at me.
I could tell he was angry.
His tentacles retreated and he left.

He'll be back. 
I've got a bad feeling that this is going to be fun.

what joy

I've begun to enjoy my new self, not only am I in a body that I feel more comfortable with, but I have also new abilities, such as possessing humans and making living things decay, among other things. I enjoy decaying stray cats. It's fun, seeing pain in someone else's eyes, to see them meow as the lights in their eyes goes out.

What joy.

I've picked a host since I last reported things here, a young girl who works at a strip club. It feels nice, to have a good body for once. I no longer have to look at myself (or rather my flesh suit) and feel nothing but disgust.

What joy.

The Blind Man told me of my job, which amounted to "do the fuck you want". He said something about what specifically to do, but I was barely listening. He also babbled on about how I'm a splinter of the Grim Reaper or some shit and that I need to bla bla bla bla. I don't need some old fuck telling me what to do. Nobody can tell me what to do anymore.

I'm done being a prisoner by the will of  others.

My goal is to live, to enjoy this life as best as I can.
In fact, The Decay is too lame of a name for me. 
I'm Grimorra.

Now excuse me, there's some children I need to take care of.

decay is my life now, again

I'm not sure where my life went wrong. Perhaps it was that time at my 7th birthday party when nobody except my creepy uncle and some people I didn't even know or care about showed up. Perhaps it was losing my virginity at age 12 because some older boy paid the minimal amount of attention to me. Perhaps it was the accident which amputated my right arm, causing me to dive into a spiral of depression that I never really recovered from. 

So many days where I wanted to jump in that river, to cut that vein, to free myself from every day being worse than the last. Just getting a new load daily to increase the burden on my shoulders.

Finally I  was freed when a car hit me, my light faded almost instantly.
There was nothing.
Million times better than my life.

Then, I woke up.
For a second there, I feared that I had survived. 

However the reality was much more odd. I looked around to see an old man sitting next to the bed I was laying on.

"How do you feel?"

I didn't answer.

"I bet you want an explanation for why you aren't dead"

I just nodded.

"You see, there are these things called Fears which are eldritch representations of what humans fear" he said. "I myself am the fear of memory"

"When a fear dies, a human is chosen to take it's place. You have been selected to be the Dying Man"

At that point I was unable to decide if I was happy or not about this. I felt like my chance at eternal rest was taken away from me but on the other hand I didn't feel pain anymore. I felt nothing.

I looked at my body, it was just sort of a decaying flesh pile of some sort, vaguely structured to look human-ish.

"Normally, we wipe away people's memory before they take on their job. But I've decided to let you keep it. It's an experiment of mine, to see what you'd do"

Sitting up, I looked around the room. It was nothing but blackness with this one old guy next to me and then me on some kind of bed. 

"I'm a fear?" I asked, looking at my disgusting hands.

"Yes, the dying man, fear of death"

How ironically cruel of the universe to make my role that of death and decay as my former life was nothing but that.

"But, I was a girl, wasn't I?" I asked, a bit hazy with my memories.

"Yes, you still are, it's merely a title or name. You don't have to go by it"

"Ehm, alright, I think I'd prefer something else. Like, "The Decay" or something"

"Alright, the decay it is" he said, picking up his large old book and writing something down.

He then vanished and I was left alone with my thoughts. It took a while, not sure how long, might have been months but I eventually got a grasp on my powers. This empty room was my realm of some kind which I was able to mold into whatever I chose.

I chose to make it into my room.
Like it was when I was human.

At least that way I'd have the internet. Have something beyond darkness. 
I realized also that I could teleport between my realm and earth.
I could possess people and even cause people to either start to rot or die with just one touch. All while being invisible to humans.

I wasn't at first, but I eventually started to enjoy this.